Have you ever felt overwhelmed by emotions, unsure what to do next? Perhaps you’ve tried to ignore them, distract yourself, or suppress them, only to have those feelings resurface stronger. Learning to sit with your feelings is a powerful yet simple practice that can transform your relationship with emotions and lead to personal growth.
To sit with your feelings means allowing yourself to experience and acknowledge emotions without trying to fix or escape them. This process fosters emotional resilience, self-awareness, and mental clarity.
The Science Behind Sitting With Your Feelings
Emotions are a natural response to our experiences, both internal and external. They are deeply rooted in psychology and neuroscience. When we experience an uncomfortable feeling, our body often activates the fight-or-flight response, releasing stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. While these reactions can help us survive immediate threats, they are less helpful for processing emotional challenges.
Sitting with your feelings engages the brain’s prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for rational thinking and emotional regulation. By doing so, you shift from reacting impulsively to responding thoughtfully. Sitting with discomfort is also linked to reduced stress, improved emotional intelligence, and greater resilience.
On the other hand, avoiding emotions can lead to mental health issues like anxiety, depression, and burnout. Acknowledging and processing emotions allows you to navigate life’s challenges with clarity and composure.
Why Avoidance Doesn’t Work
When faced with an uncomfortable feeling, many people instinctively turn to avoidance. This could mean distracting themselves through excessive work, spending too much time on social media, or numbing emotions with unhealthy habits like overeating or substance use. While these behaviors might provide temporary relief, they often create more significant problems in the long run.
Avoiding emotions can lead to unresolved stress, strained relationships, and physical symptoms like headaches or fatigue. Additionally, emotional suppression often results in emotional outbursts when the bottled-up feelings inevitably surface. Recognizing the signs of avoidance is the first step toward change.
By choosing to sit with it, you break the cycle of avoidance and open the door to genuine healing and growth.
How to Sit With Uncomfortable Feelings in 5 Steps
Learning how to sit with uncomfortable feelings may feel challenging at first, but it becomes easier with practice. Follow these steps to start embracing your emotions:
1. Name Your Feelings
Begin by identifying your emotions. Are you angry, sad, anxious, or overwhelmed? Journaling or mindfulness exercises can help you uncover the specific emotion behind your discomfort. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now?” or “Where do I feel this emotion in my body?”
2. Create a Safe Space
Find an environment where you feel comfortable and free from distractions. This could be a quiet room, a cozy corner, or even a peaceful outdoor setting. A safe space allows you to explore your emotions without fear of judgment or interruption.
3. Acknowledge Without Judgment
Emotions are neither good nor bad—they simply are. Practice self-compassion by reminding yourself, “It’s okay to feel this way.” Avoid labeling emotions as “negative” or “positive.” Instead, accept them as valid parts of your experience.
4. Explore the Emotion’s Source
Ask yourself reflective questions like, “What triggered this feeling?” or “What is this emotion trying to tell me?” Often, emotions arise from unmet needs, past experiences, or current stressors. Understanding the root cause helps you process and address the issue effectively.
5. Allow the Emotion to Pass
Emotions are like waves—they rise, peak, and eventually subside. By sitting with discomfort, you allow the feeling to dissipate naturally. Remember, no emotion lasts forever. Practicing patience and mindfulness can help you ride the wave until it passes.
Common Misconceptions About Sitting With Your Feelings
Sitting with your feelings is a practice that, despite its benefits, is often misunderstood. These misconceptions can prevent individuals from fully embracing the practice, keeping them stuck in patterns of avoidance.
“It’s the same as wallowing.”
Many people think that sitting with your feelings means dwelling on them excessively. In reality, this practice involves observing and processing emotions, not getting stuck in them.
“You’ll lose control of your feelings.”
On the contrary, allowing yourself to experience emotions fully often reduces their intensity and gives you greater control over how you respond.
“You have to resolve the emotion immediately.”
A common misconception is that the purpose of sitting with your feelings is to find an immediate solution or “fix” the emotion. In reality, the goal is not resolution but acknowledgment and acceptance. Emotions often need time to pass naturally, and attempting to force a resolution can create more stress.
These misunderstandings can discourage people from embracing emotional work. By addressing these myths, we can encourage healthier approaches to emotional well-being.
3 Practical Tools and Resources
Learning to sit with your feelings can feel overwhelming, especially if you’re new to the practice. Fortunately, there are many tools and resources available to guide you. Here are practical strategies you can use to incorporate this approach into your daily life:
1. Mindfulness Exercises
Apps like Headspace or Calm provide guided meditations designed to help you practice sitting with your feelings. Breathing exercises and body scans can also be effective tools.
2. Books and Articles
Consider reading The Language of Emotions by Karla McLaren or Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach for deeper insights into emotional processing.
3. Therapy Options
Professional therapy can offer valuable support for those struggling with emotional regulation. Techniques like dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and individual therapy can help you navigate challenging emotions and build resilience.
Embrace Emotional Growth With Lumina Recovery
Sitting with your feelings is a powerful practice that fosters emotional resilience, self-awareness, and mental clarity. By learning how to sit with uncomfortable feelings, you gain the tools to navigate life’s challenges with confidence and grace.
At Lumina Recovery, we offer individual therapy and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) programs designed to help you process emotions, manage discomfort, and address underlying challenges like anxiety or depression. These personalized therapies empower you to embrace emotional growth and healing in a supportive environment.
Reach out to us to learn how we can support you in your journey toward emotional well-being and recovery.
